Reading Assignment - "The Love of My Life" by T.C. Boyle

Love is a powerful word. It is a strong feeling that transforms your life, transforms everything you are. When you are in love you can feel it up in the air, in the morning and before going to sleep. In the short story “The Love of My Life” by T. C Boyle, China and Jeremy are two teenagers who are deeply in love or so it seems. Two high school students with an almost perfect life and a promising future who enjoy to share most of their time with each other. Despite being so young Jeremy and Chyna have started to enjoy their sexuality since they practically began their relationship also, both parents allowed them to spend time together unsupervised for extended periods of time. One day, they decided to go on a camping trip before separating as they would leave for their respective colleges. During this trip Jeremy and Chyna have sex practically every day without adequate protection and then Chyna gets pregnant. When Chyna tells Jeremy about the pregnancy, they decide to hide it and continue their lives separated by the miles between their respective new schools because both believe that this situation will ruin their lives; for consequence, Chyna spends her pregnancy without going to the doctor and without saying a word to anyone. The day that Chyna is about to have her baby, she calls Jeremy and both decide to meet in a motel. A few moments later, Chyna gives birth to a baby girl but instead keeping their daughter China tells her lover Jeremy to “get rid of it,” as if it were garbage coming out of her body. Jeremy also does not want to keep the baby so he proceeds to do it in a cold and ruthless way. When they woke up the next day Jeremy is arrested and Chyna is in a hospital room waiting to go to court and be sentenced for the crime they committed. At the end of this story we can see two very different points of view from these characters, Jeremy remains convinced that what he did was good since bringing a baby to the world would destroy his future and dreams. On the other hand, Chyna is regretful thinking about her daughter but she is also remembering the love of her life, Jeremy. When we are young, we are often guided by emotions without thinking much about the future, much less the consequences of our actions. We usually confuse falling in love with true love. The question in this story will always be: what drives a couple like this to commit the murder of their own child? I applaud the author because he provokes deep emotions in the minds of readers about the irresponsibility of our culture.

Single Mothers - Community Profile Quote Sandwich

          Lety had to play different roles everyday for the well-being of her daughter. She rarely had time for herself. The feeling that she had so many tasks to fulfill never disappeared; therefore, she forgot that she was still a young woman and that she also needed time to enjoy life. ‘’Many single moms fall into the superwoman trap, feeling that in addition to working all day, they must also keep a clean house, serve home-cooked meals, and tend to their children's needs.” Many times she wondered if she was doing a god job but over time she understood that worrying too much only made the things worse and that would not be good for her little girl. No mother is perfect. She learned that having everything under control is important but reaching the balance between time for yourself and your responsibilities is better. The best thing for your children is to see you happy.

Single Mothers - Quote Sandwich From an Article

Some people wrongly stereotype single mothers as people who care more for themselves than their children, and put all their energy into frivolous pursuits ignoring their children. This is not true at all. Many times, single mothers actually put nearly all of their time and energy into their children. Many parents think their children might even be better off now than if they had stayed with their partner. “No matter what the latest study said about the damaging effects of a broken home, I tried to remember that my boys and I were much more than a statistic -- and that our home wasn't broken.” It’s disconcerting that there is still a stigma associated with single mothers; however, we can work as a society to change the negative viewpoint to a positive one, and it starts with supplying the correct information which is entirely based off of experience. Do not let people make you feel inferior just because you do not live the way traditional families do.

Let's Be Honest!

I read the book “To Be Honest” from the author Maggie Ann Martin when I was fifteen. I started reading it in my Spanish class because one of the things we had to do was read a different book every month. When we finished a book, we exchange it with another classmate. That is how I found this book. The story is about Savannah a teen with a life full of ups and downs. To Be Honest exposes many serious issues, like anxiety, eating disorders, fat shaming and tense parental relationships. After her older sister Ashley heads off to her freshman year of college, there is nothing that Savannah dreads more than returning home without her. Savvy and her mom never got along after her mom went on a televised weight loss competition, but without Ashley to break up the fights, her mom’s obsession with weight and controlling Savvy’s health only grows more. As Savvy struggles with her worsening relationship with her mom, figuring out senior year and missing her sister, she already has enough to stress. Then she meets George. When the two grow closer, Savvy’s senior year takes a turn as she learns she needs to live in the moment and sometimes that means saying the truth. I would recommend this book because as I mentioned previously, this book deals with issues like fat shaming, making it a challenging read at some points. Savvy, the protagonist, is fat and deals with these issues head on. I loved the fat representation that was featured in this book and that truly made the book standout among others. I loved seeing a main character that was fat but did not let that become a major insecurity. Savvy embraced her weight and championed body positivism, something I wish more books attempted to do. One of my biggest takeaways from the book was that we needed more characters like Savvy.

Free Write - Super moms

I have always wanted to write about the difficulties that single mothers face every day. This is a topic that really catches my attention for two important reasons: one is because everyone has a sister, a friend, a co-worker or even our schoolmates who are single mothers, and we see them daily doing their lives like any other person, but we never get to imagine or recognize all the effort that takes them to get ahead and try to lead a balanced life; the other reason is because a lot of people think single mothers are a bad thing for society getting carried away by prejudice as a kind of discrimination. My best friend has raised her daughter completely alone for the past eleven years. She and I have been almost like sisters since we were five years old. When she turned seventeen, she realized that she was expecting her first child and had not even finished high school. She was actually just a teenager. Soon, we begin to notice that our lives started to be very different from each other. The first stone that was crossed in the way was the fact that she had to leave school due to the criticism and being harshly pointed out by the other students, and to make the things worse her boyfriend and father of her daughter soon let her know that he did not want responsibilities at that moment, leaving her completely alone so immediately after his baby was born she had to search for a job.  I have seen my friend divide her time into three different jobs to give her daughter the best future, currently she has just finished college and I’m so proud of her because being a mom it’s not easy but being a single mom requires super powers.

Surviving (and Thriving) as a Single Mom Four common challenges and how you can overcome them. By Rachel Sarah

You're Not Alone

When my daughter, Mae, was 7 months old, her father and I split up. He left the country -- without saying goodbye, I might add -- to start a new life. I was a hormonal, heartbroken 28-year-old, and in between work hours spent editing textbooks, I nursed Mae and mashed up baby food.

That first year was chaos. It didn't help that there were no single-mom role models in my life -- except, say, Madonna, who was also parenting solo at the time. If she can do it, I can, I used to think, but I hardly had a superstar's life. Fortunately, I had a fantastic group of friends who helped. Maybe none of them knew exactly what I was going through, but they babysat and showered Mae with love, which I appreciate to this day.

After a time, I got back on my feet and ventured out. And what did I see? A lot more single moms than I had ever noticed before. In fact, in 2005, nearly 4 in 10 babies in the U.S. were born outside of marriage, according to the Centers for Disease Control. It's an all-time high -- and it's not due to teen moms (teen motherhood is at its lowest rate in 65 years). Births to unmarried women ages 25 to 29 are up 30 percent since 1991; births to unmarried women ages 30 to 44 are up 17 percent. One caveat: Statistics don't tell how many single moms are with a partner (and choosing not to get married), how many live with family (so they have some help around), and how many are truly alone. But the point is, there are a lot of single moms out there.

Day-to-day duties for a solo parent are no different than they are for a married one: coping with sleeplessness, finding child care, paying bills. But... you're on your own. Even so, single mothers agree that even when overwhelmed, there's usually a way to work out problems. Here are some of the biggest worries of new single moms, and a few words of wisdom.

Am I Up to the Challenge?

The short answer is yes. The longer answer is that parenthood is the biggest undertaking you'll ever face. But that's true even if you're married! You will get past the fear.

"You can survive this, or you can lie down and die," is what Christina Ann Zola, of Washington, D.C., told herself when she and her husband split up. They'd moved out of the country and had a baby, and then their marriage fell apart. Zola returned to the U.S. with a toddler, four suitcases, and four hundred dollars. "My life has been this series of 'oh, that was hard' crises, but I just keep going," Zola says. "You can't let things stop you."

One way to calm yourself: take life one step at a time. Concentrate on giving birth, then caring for a newborn, then looking for work and daycare. "Forget long-term planning or strategy during those first sleep-deprived weeks," says Leah Klungness, a psychologist in New York City and coauthor of The Complete Single Mother (Adams). "You have the rest of your life to plot and plan."

You'll still have fears, of course, so confide in friends and family who give you sound advice and who don't panic. The fact that her mother was calm about her pregnancy lowered the stress for single mom Kali Kimberlin, of Pittsburgh. "When I started to get scared, she'd say to me, 'It will all work out,'" says Kimberlin, who gave birth to daughter McKenna Grace in April. "And she was right."

Can I Support Us?

There are single moms who get reliable, substantial child-support payments from the baby's father. But if reading that sentence makes you laugh ruefully, you're probably one of the majority of women who have become the breadwinner.

"My son counts on me and only me," Zola says. She was smart -- and fortunate: When she first moved to D.C., she explained her situation in a note that she posted on an Internet Listserv for city residents. "One single mom wrote to say that we could stay with her, and another offered clothes," Zola remembers. But the real boon was when a mom forwarded Zola's resume to an architectural firm, which hired her for her current job. "I'm the go-to girl for the CEO," she says.

Amy Anderson, of Seattle, says that when she split with the father of her daughter, Hailey, soon after Hailey's first birthday, she had to borrow money from her family to stay afloat. But she had taken a computer course when she was pregnant, and even though her preterm labor prevented her from finishing it, she parlayed her new skills into a contracting job with Intel. "Having Hailey was my motivation to make it happen," she says.

There will be days when working -- you have no choice! -- will fill you with resentment. Zola, who sometimes works 60-hour weeks, fights frustration by reminding herself what a good model she is for her son. Lesley Grider, of Milwaukee, agrees. She works full-time at a healthcare organization while her 2-year-old stays with Grandpa. "The best thing I can do for my daughter is show her how to be a strong, resourceful individual," Grider says. Her work ethic has paid off: She just bought her first home. "I've found an incredible source of independence and strength through this situation," she adds.

A mom needs to be prepared for any situation that might arise when she's away from the house. So sometimes, her purse can feel like an abyss of strange items--from toys to teeth.

Will People Look Down on Me?

Divorce and birth out of wedlock don't have the stigma that they did in earlier eras. How could they, with half of all marriages ending in divorce and a third of all births happening outside of marriage? Statistics are not a cure-all, though. "I can't think of one single mom -- myself included -- who didn't worry a bit," says Darla Rainford, of Eagan, Minnesota.

Be prepared for any number of uncomfortable situations, from disapproving grandparents to gossiping coworkers. You may grow distant from some friends while drawing closer to others. "Surround yourself whenever possible with emotionally generous and secure people who boost your confidence," Klungness says.

How to keep your head high if people are judgmental? "Sitting at home with only your child for company isn't going to help," Klungness says. You may benefit from a new-moms group; search the Internet for ones in your neighborhood, or look for bulletins in local stores. Mingle at a library story hour or a Gymboree class. I never imagined I'd be checking out women's left hands for wedding rings, but I've done it! You can also meet single moms virtually through Web sites and blogs (some favorites: solomother.com, singlerose.com, and single2mother.org).

Will Baby Be Okay Without Dad?

There are as many variations on paternal involvement as there are fathers. Your child may see Dad all the time, or Dad may be out of the picture -- or anything in between. It's up to you, of course, to make your child feel loved no matter what.

"A well-balanced child tends to be raised by at least one attentive parent or guardian who can mediate stress and not play the role of victim," says Mikki Morrissette, a single mom of two in Minneapolis and author of Choosing Single Motherhood (choosingsinglemotherhood.com).

"My anger is my own," muses Anderson, whose daughter, Hailey, is now 7. "My daughter will have issues with each parent one day. I don't need to add fuel to that."

"If you're negative about men or your ex, your kid is going to figure that out," says Zola. "It will turn around and bite you later." Anderson agrees: "I let myself play out a gory fantasy in my head, have a good giggle over it, and then get on with doing what is truly best for my child."

And if your child's father is not in the picture, take heart. There are good male role models, if not in your own family, then among the coaches, teachers, and neighbors you know. Zola has befriended a single dad of two; she can depend on him to pick up her son from preschool when she needs to work late, and the two families often get together for playdates.

Having other people involved in your child's life also gives you a break. Since my ex is gone, I count on Grandpa to pick up my daughter from school every Monday and on Aunt Rebecca to host the occasional slumber party. I use the time to exercise and, yes, to date again.

"The essence of being a good parent is putting your own needs first," Klungness says. This does not mean compromising your parenting. It does mean keeping yourself as grounded and as stress free as possible so you can give your baby the wonderful childhood he or she deserves.

Faces of Imperial – The Anecdote

         

          It was a warm August morning about eleven years ago when my best friend found out she was pregnant with her first child. I was starting my freshman year in college, and she was in her last year of high school. I remember it like it was yesterday. For both, that morning was the beginning of a new chapter in our lives. The previous night she had asked to go with her to pick up her pregnancy test at the clinic the next day, so I woke up early and before heading to school we stopped with the doctor. We pick up the envelope, and we got into the car. I still remember her face. She was so nervous but at the same time, she was hoping it was just a false alarm. Then, she asked me to open the envelope and give her the results. I was shocked! I never imagined that she would ask me to do that, but I did it. I started reading the test results, and then that word came out “positive.” I look at her immediately, but without saying a word. Like ten seconds later she said: I’m pregnant or not, just tell me. I think this is the hardest answer I’ve ever given in my whole life. I said: yes, and then she started to cry. I took her in my arms but I could feel her desolation, sadness and how all her dreams were falling apart inside her. I stayed with her for a while until she calmed down. I went to school after that and she did too. All that day I thought about what would happen if I were in her place and the difficult things that I would have to face.

Selena Gomez: Depression and anxiety are 'not something I feel I'll ever overcome’

The actress-singer opened up about her battles with depression and anxiety in a new interview with Harper's Bazaar magazine. 

By Shane Lou / Feb.07.2018 / 10:45 AM ET / Source: TODAY 

Though Selena Gomez usually doesn’t set goals for herself, she is making sure her top priority this year is to focus on her well-being. “I’ve had a lot of issues with depression and anxiety, and I’ve been very vocal about it, but it’s not something I feel I’ll ever overcome,” Gomez, 25, explained to “13 Reasons Why” star Katherine Langford in the March issue of Harper’s Bazaar. 

In 2015, the actress-singer revealed she had been diagnosed with and underwent treatment for lupus. Since then, she’s taken time off to deal with anxiety, panic attacks and depression. Last September, she shared in an emotional Instagram post that she underwent a kidney transplant. After several challenging years, Gomez is taking the long view when it comes to her health. 

“There won’t be a day when I’m like, ‘Here I am in a pretty dress — I won!’” she said. “I think it’s a battle I’m gonna have to face for the rest of my life, and I’m okay with that because I know that I’m choosing myself over anything else. 

“I’m starting my year off with that thought. I want to make sure I’m healthy. If that’s good, everything else will fall into place.” 

“Everything else” may include new music from the talented entertainer, who last released an album in 2015. “I don’t really set goals’’ cause I don’t want to be disappointed if I don’t reach them, but I do want to work on my music too,” said Gomez. “My next album has been forever in the making. When people ask me why, I’m honest about it: It’s because I haven’t been ready. I mean, point-blank, I don’t feel confident enough in where my music is yet. If that takes 10 years, then it takes 10 years. I don’t care. Right now I just want to be super intentional with all of the things I’m doing.” 

When you’re the most-followed celebrity on Instagram, as Gomez is, it’s hard to fly under the radar. She loves that she can keep her 133 million followers up to date on her life through Instagram, but she admits she has a “complex relationship” with the photo-sharing service. 

“It has given me a voice amid all the noise of people trying to narrate my life for me and allows me to say, ‘Hey, I’m gonna post this, and this is gonna take care of the 1,200 stories that people think are interesting but actually aren’t, and aren’t even true,’” she said. “So it empowers me in that way because it’s my words and my voice and my truth. The only thing that worries me is how much value people our age place on social media. It’s an incredible platform, but in a lot of ways it’s given young people, myself included, a false representation of what’s important.”